so. . .here I am. . .

The moving is done. The boxes are unpacked. The new neighbors have been over for dinner. The children are nestled all snug in there beds. The stockings are hung by. . .just kidding.

I have said numerous times over the last month that I feel like I am living someone else's life. The new house, new neighborhood, new furniture. . .it all feels surreal, like I am somewhere that I am not yet convinced where I belong.

Our new house is by no means extravagant, yet a few months ago I would have thought it was way out of our league. I loved our humble, little home. I was comfortable, although sometimes cramped. I was content.

Don't take this the wrong way. I am so thankful to be here. I feel the Lord has provided for and blessed us immensely. Already we have opportunities to be Jesus in our backyard, literally.


So here is the thing. . .a couple of months ago, I told my husband I would like to have the group of inner city kids that I work with over for pizza. This is by no means an unusual request. In our ten years of ministry together, we have had literally countless kids in our home to hang out.
Then we found out we were moving, the craziness began, and here I sit in my new house. Now, I just can't do it. I feel embarrassed by my surroundings. In our old home, it would have felt completely comfortable and normal to have the kids over. . .

A couple of nights ago, we had to make arrangements to pick these kids up for a skating party. It proved to be a little challenging because we have a rule that no one can be in the neighborhood alone, especially at night. We also had to get our own children to the party. My husband and a friend ended up doing the picking up, and I met them there with my girls.

After the party, as I was tucking my girls into bed, in our nice new house, in our very safe neighborhood, this all started going through my mind again. Why do we have to use the "buddy system" in a neighborhood where these kids walk to school, play, eat, sleep, and live? Why am I so blessed?

ten things that i have let reign in me lately. . .

over all the earth YOU reign on high
every mountain stream every sunset sky
but my one request. LORD my only aim
is that YOU reign in me again

over every thought over every word
may my life reflect the beauty of my LORD
'cause YOU mean more to me than any earthly thing
so won't YOU reign in me again

LORD reign in me reign in YOUR power
over all my dreams in my darkest hour
YOU are the LORD of all i am
so won't YOU reign in me again

1. PAINTING
2. PACKING
3. BIRTHDAY PARTIES
4. STRESSING/WORRYING
5. BRICKS
6. BUYING/SELLING
7. ZOE
8. MIA
9. LUCI
10. ROBBIE

Jesus, please forgive me for letting everything around me cloud my vision of you. Please remind me that busyness, even when it is for you or my family, can rob you of your rightful place on the throne of my life. YOU are my KING. REIGN IN ME.

yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. . .

So, I have been kind of obsessed with pirates lately. I went to the library and checked out some books to do my own research. I am absolutely fascinated!
Anyway, a friend of mine came over last night who thinks that he is a pirate. He showed me how to find my pirate name. I was pretty excited, so I just wanted to share. . .

My pirate name is:

Captain Anne Flint

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part

"Come. Follow Me."

Last night, Zoe told us that she has been thinking about getting baptized and wanted to pray to Jesus about it with her whole family. Zoe and I have had numerous conversations lately about being a follower of Jesus, being a sinner who needs a Savior, and about what it means to get baptized.
Last night, she asked us to explain everything again because she wanted to pray about it.
So we did. . .
"Zoe, what is sin? Do you sin? Jesus never did, and when he died on the cross, he took the punishment for everything bad that we have ever done or ever will do. Jesus wants to be your Savior. He wants for you to tell him that you are a sinner. He wants you to ask him to be your Savior. He wants for you to tell him that for your whole life, everyday, that you are going to follow Him and tell and show people about how much He loves them."
And she did. She prayed a sweet little five year old prayer.
I wrote the date in my Bible next to the place where her name was already written, with the verse that Robbie and I chose for her before she was born, and with the date when we dedicated her at church, and where I hope to write the date when she gets baptized and any other date significant to her walk with Jesus.
Last night, as I was lying in bed, I remembered the previous night when minutes before I fell asleep, I prayed for Zoe. I prayed very specifically that she would begin her relationship with her Savior very soon.
I can't explain what the realization of that answered prayer did to me. I have prayed so many times for my children, but the little prayer I uttered right before falling asleep was one of the most significant I will ever pray, and it was answered so quickly.
I realize that my prayer may have had nothing to do with the timing of Zoe's questions, but it reminded me how important the spiritual part of my job is. By no means is my job with Zoe done or even easier. In fact, last night was the beginning of her following Jesus, so it is the beginning of my job of making her a disciple.

Jesus, thank you for Zoe's desire to accept you as her Savior and be your follower. Guide me as I disciple her to become a woman of God. Give me wisdom as I teach and perseverance as I pray. Thank you for being my Savior and bidding me to "Come. Follow Me."

Jesus loves gay people . . . ami on gay marriage...(and being called a Christian?)

So. . . I was sitting on a park bench the other day with a dear older Christian lady, when she asked me "Did you see those men getting married on the news the other day? Isn't that just sickening?"
Before I could utter a response, my eyes met the eyes of the woman sitting on the other side of us. I immediately recognized an old acquaintance of mine whom I know to be a lesbian.
I wanted to melt, literally. I actually thought, "if I could just melt right now and drip through the slats on the seat of this park bench and just puddle on the ground underneath, well that would be fantastic."
So I have been thinking, a lot actually, how Christians can be so judgmental in the name of Jesus, am I that way, and how would Jesus respond to gay marriage???
Why do Christians think their job is to judge?
In reality, Jesus never intended us to judge anyone at all, but only to love.
My proof?
Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-38 when he was telling everyone that there are two commandments that are more important than anything else, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."
Jesus not only says here that we have to love our neighbors, but he basically says that if you aren't going to obey these two commandments there isn't really a need to worry about the rest.
When someone asked Jesus to define "neighbor," Jesus tells this story in the book of Luke about a Samaritan helping a Jew who was mugged. The Jews and the Samaritans hated each other. Jesus was telling them that the definition to neighbor is anyone and everyone.
In John 8, some Pharisees brought a woman to Jesus who had been caught in adultery. They were ready to stone her, as the Law said they should. Jesus walks through the crowd of these angry, Jewish, Godly men who thought that they were obeying the Law. He walked up to this naked, shivering, sinful woman looked into her eyes and turned to the crowd. He said, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her."
One by one, the men dropped their stones and left. He looked at the woman and said,"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? . . .Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."
hmmmmmmmmm. . .
Christians have got to remember that until a person accepts the Bible as truth for their life, they can not be expected to live the way the Bible says to live.
Sometimes I am embarrassed that I am a Christian. Sometimes, when I meet someone new, it is one of the last things I tell them instead of the first. Sometimes, I don't tell them at all, I wait until it slips out.
Why is that?
(Why is it that in any movie or TV show, Christians are portrayed as idiots, assholes, or nutcases?)
It is not at all because I am embarrassed of my faith or my morals or of Jesus himself. I am in love with Jesus. He is my Savior.
I have also found that most people are okay with Jesus just not okay with Christians. I have also found that sometimes, a lot of times, I feel the same way.
My conclusion. . .
I don't want to be known as a Christian anymore because somehow, in our culture, most of the time, Christian has come to mean something that I am not.
What am I?
In John 13: 34-35, Jesus says, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
That is what I want to be, what I am. . . I am a lover of Jesus and a lover of my "neighbor," of "all people."

waiting on the world to change. . .ami on politics

with the '08 election just around the corner (yeah right, we have another whole freaking year of campaign commercials) i find myself pondering who i will vote for. . .
do i have a crush on obama?
will i go hollywood?
am i part of the ron paul revolution?
do i go for making history, and make a former president the first man first lady?
do i vote for a man of considerably high morals but professes to be a part of a religion that is somewhat blasphemous to the faith i hold so dear? which by the way poses a very interesting question that could probably be a blog of its own. . .why do some christians have such a problem voting for a morman, but have no problem voting for a complete hypocrite who claims to have faith in Jesus and calls themselves a christian, but lacks any evidence that proves it, as along as they are a republican?

my conclusion. . .
i don't care. i don't care if i vote, and i don't care who wins. maybe that is horrible. maybe i am a terrible american. maybe i am not patriotic. i have a hard time caring about a political campaign that lasts get two years too long, that cost millions and millions of dollars that could be put to much better use, and that does nothing except prove who is the most popular, prettiest, richest liar.

"me and all my friends we're all misunderstood.
they say we stand for nothing. there's no way we every could.
we see everything that's going wrong, with the and those who lead it.
we feel like we don't have the means to rise above and beat it. . .
when you trust your television,
what you get is what you got,
'cause when you own the information
you can bend it all you want."

don't get me wrong. i am thankful that i have been born in a country of extreme privilege, where even our underprivileged are considered rich to those who are hungry and homeless in other countries.
i am appreciative to those who willingly give their lives to fight for this country, but could i or would i do the same? i don't know. i wish that i could say that i would, but i can't. i am not sure the fairy tale land who is a hero to the weak and a comfort to the immigrant that has been painted of america truly exists. i can respect troops who fight for a land that they believe in, but i can never support war that is simply to fight for the right to have the biggest weapons or the most oil. i can support defending those in need who can't defend themselves, but not a war that is simply to say "i am boss."

i feel like i pay my rent to live here by paying taxes, and yes because i live here i have freedoms. but the truth is, couldn't i have those same freedoms living somewhere else, also?

and then there is Jesus. . . i am not sure, but i don't think that Jesus would have wasted time on researching candiates or debating issues. Jesus cared about the souls of the people who he came in contact with. i don't think Jesus would have been a republican or a democrat. i am not sure he would have bothered.

i could be wrong. this is not an opinion at all set in stone. it could easily change by november of next year, or this year for that matter.

and this is the end to my political ramblings. . .

a little bit of heaven and a little bit of oh yeah

so, i went to bonner springs kansas on tuesday and had an incredibly fun time with my husband. i felt like i was twenty again. . .
and i didn't see little vw driving, fire dancer sticker displaying mom there anywhere!
i pulled in my driveway at 3:15 am the next morning, my husband crashed in the back seat, on a little concert loving high i have not quite come down from yet.
i woke up three and a half hours later to pack a tinkerbell lunch box with a peanut butter and honey sandwich, down some coffee, and get my kids to school on time.
guess what that makes me???
pretty freakin' cool if i do say so myself!
oh, and later that day, i ordered myself a fire dancer sticker online.

*mere, this was for you!

seasons change. . . part two

so it is not like i don't have enough issues with change, you know, owls leaving their nests and making me cry. . .

in the past week, i have celebrated my tenth wedding anniversary by buying a house and sent my baby to kindergarten.

i have experienced a plethora of emotions.

i freaked out because i had myself absolutely convinced that my eight year old yellow lab, that i love entirely too much, has cancer. when i took him to the vet, the vet prescribed some medicine for his itchy skin and told me their is absolutely no reason that my dog won't live for five to seven more years.

on the other hand the "zoo" is being depleted. the mice had to be taken back to pet co. due to an over-population problem. (we thought we had three female mice, but we ended up with a mama, ten babies, another one knocked up, and one proud papa.) the hermit crab was found dead.

which brought me to the conclusion that not all change is bad.

mommy's must have back to school item

when i took zoe to school this morning there was a vw jetta in front of me with a fire dancer sticker on the back window. i thought to myself "damn it!" for two reasons: #1 because that used to be me and #2 because as i followed the car into the school parking lot, driving my silver mini van with a Q99.5 sticker in the back window, i thought, "there goes a much cooler mom than me."
this, along with the sell of my cool little hippie house, my thirty year old, already bruised ego, took another hit.

i found myself thinking in my messed up little mind, in a sing-songy tune, "i'm going to dave matthews tuesday night in kansas city and you're not! i'm cooler than you!"

i think i need buy to a fire dancer sticker for the dazzomobile.

seasons change. . .

seasons change, can you get anymore cliche than that? but they do, usually before we are ready.
right now, i feel as though i am in the midst of the changing seasons, tide, or any other clever phrase already coined by another. . .i am too tired to be original right now.
i was so excited to discover recently that i had three baby owls living in my yard. i have a thing for owls. every evening around 8:30, they would come out to play. they would call to each other and play follow the leader from tree to tree. i affectionately named them Henry, Theodore, and Willamina. i would watch them every evening after putting my girls to bed.
i just got back from our annual vacation to the Ozarks. while there, i had to continually remind myself that for the first time in my thirty years of being present on this vacation, my 96 year old aunt hazel is at her nursing home instead of with us. i didn't prepare myself for how hard that would be on me, but it was. it caught me off guard when i stepped out onto the deck of our condo to find an empty porch swing or walked down to the boat dock to find my three little girls fishing without the competition of a silver haired old lady. . .
speaking of my three little girls. . .this is the first time in six years i have not purchased swim diapers for the trip. it is also the first time we have not left an infant at home for our annual trip to the dam (which is a white trash, hillbilly version of a boardwalk). Luci, who is two, continually reminded us "i not a baby; i a big girl!" and proved that though she is my youngest is not a baby anymore. my middle daughter, Mia, can swim underwater, eyes open, nose unplugged. she thinks she is a fish. she also discovered that she is a butterfly charmer of sorts. Zoe has proven to be the biggest change. she confided in my sixteen year old cousin, Lizzie, that her and her boyfriend David (imaginary i must add before i am deemed crazy) sneak into the bathroom and kiss. she also asked Lizzie to teach her how to be a big girl and said "all i know is when you are a big girl, you swing slow, you have to do homework, and you get to watch tv all day."
i had a college discussion with my cousin Lizzie, which doesn't seem possible. in my mind i think she should be about the age of my oldest daughter.
all of this said, i came home from vacation to find that my three little owls had left the nest. they have left to build nests of their own.

I heart . . .

I love Jesus. He is the Lord of my life, and I strive to live in such a way that when I do meet Him, He will call me faithful. One of my favorite verses is Eph. 4:1 "Live a life worthy of the calling you've received." My calling is to be Jesus to those around me. I hope that when I am through with this life, people will say that I did live a life that was worthy of being called a follower of Christ.
I love my family. My husband is my best friend and has been since I have been fourteen. I still think he is a hottie. I think my three girls are the most beautiful children in the world. I really do adore them. I also think that I have the best job in the world which is staying home with them. I absolutely love my yellow lab Jackson. He is my dream dog and has been my constant companion for the last seven years. I have moments of fondness for my other dog Charlie. He definitely doesn't hold Jackson status, but he is growing on me.
I love my church. I think we get it, and I love that I have so many friends there that feel like family.
I love hanging out with the KAMTASazzo's plus Phil. I also love hanging out with my cousin Lizzie when she comes to stay with me.
I love to read. I am a big fan of the Bible. Not only do I read it, but I strive to live by it. I want to be the "light of the world" and by life to be "worthy of the calling I've received."
I love Little Women, Gone With the Wind, Pride and Prejudice, and a lot of Hemingway.
If I was fifteen, I would have the biggest crush ever on
Harry Potter.
I love to read Fiction and Memoirs.
The best books I have read in 2006 are Marley and Me, Wicked, and The Life of Pi. The best books so far from 2007 are Velvet Elvis and While I was gone, but of course I am eagerly waiting for the Harry Potter finale.
I love movies. I love movies. I can watch and enjoy anything from a mainstream blockbuster or a low budget indy film.
I am not a huge fan of stupid comedy or horror.
My favorite movie of all time is The Wizard of OZ.
Four more for my top five? Life is Beautiful, In America, You've Got Mail, Chocolat. Five more for my top ten? Goonies, Princess Bride, The Little Mermaid, Grease.
Maybe those really aren't my top ten, but I love them all.
I would also have to add that the Pirates of the Caribbean is the best trilogy ever, and I have to say that Elizabeth Swann is a complete fool for ever choosing Will Turner over Captain Jack Sparrow...I wish I were a pirate.
I love music. Dave Matthews is my fav of all time. I dig John Mayer.
I have a girl crush on the Dixie Chicks. I love old hymns,songs that tell a story, and any song that takes me away. My favorite that is constantly playing on my ipod is Group 1 Crew. I am a big fan of Christian music that doesn't suck.
I love TV. What can I say except that my favorite place to get a cup of coffee is Central Perk,if I could be anyone in the world I would be Kierstin Cohen and Sarah Clark will be our next American Idol!
You give me five seconds, and I could easily tell you who my five best friends would be if I were stuck on "the island."

my life as a movie

Have you ever made the "if my life were a movie list"?
You know, like who would be your parents, your brother, your boyfriend. . .
Well, here is mine:
Tom Hanks would be my dad.
Gina Davis would be my mom.
John Travolta and Steven Schirripa would be my uncles.
Meg Ryan would be my aunt.
Adam Sandler and Ashton Kutcher would be my brothers.
Kate Hudson would be my sister.
Anthony Hopkins and Julie Andrews would be my grandparents.
Johnny Depp is definately my true love, but Leonardo DiCaprio comes in close second. (I have a thing for little, skinny guys! right robbie?)
Reese Witherspoon would be my best friend.
Although I would choose to look like Jennifer Aniston if I could look like anyone, I think I would have to pick Drew Barrymore to play me.